God is good all the time.
It hasn’t been the best week.
I’m tired, feeling kinda bored of my life, not sure where my career is taking me, and it seems like the only thing happening in my life right now is work that I don’t have energy for.
I’ve been quite comfortable for the last few months. I trusted with all my heart that God has everything planned out for me and there were no reasons to doubt anything.
It seems like I’ve suddenly been shaken awake from a pleasant dream and instead of not feeling the need to look into my future I’m feeling like there’s no future to look to.
God is good. Every time I cried out in desperation He gently answered with His fierce love for me. Yet I’ve allowed myself to slip into a lull, despite how much I tell people it’s a choice not to see this as a bad time; that by will power I’m not allowing myself to wallow in self-pity. It’s not that I was lying, it’s just a battle. That lull, yes - every time after a touch from God I find myself feeling down again. I don’t believe that it’s because God’s presence wasn’t genuine, it’s just… Well, we all feel down every now and then, don’t we?
What I want to say is that I’m going through a random phase where I’m coming before God saying, “Dad, it’s kind of hard for me to give you praise right now. I’m not feeling too great (how selfish! That’s barely a reason to stop praising Him), and it feels insincere.” And His response every time is, “in spite of that, are you still willing to say that I am good?”
I am.
Simply because I find myself needing to seek Him more than I did when I was so happy.
